Just The Way We Are
It’s a weird week for news and not news news (do I sound like a horrible love child of Gertrude Stein and Donald Rumsfield? No? I should…). Syria is still a mess btw, we still have a small portion of our gerrymandered electorate holding the country hostage on our sixth day of government shutdown. But […]
About four years ago I let one of my stepsisters talk me into “going platinum.” She said being a blonde would make me look and feel hot, young, and stylish. I was in a bit of a funk at the time and needed a change. I thought a new ‘do might just do […]
It is the email subject line that stops my heart like clockwork every year: “Pool Opens This Weekend.” Wasn’t it just New Year’s Day two minutes ago? Remember New Year’s? That day nearly half a year earlier when we swore we’d be more prepared for things like Tax day, Teacher Appreciation Week, and bathing suit […]
By now everyone not living under a rock has at least heard about the Abercrombie & Fitch “Fat people are uncool” story. While it’s a disheartening event, I refuse to get my size 8 panties in a twist. Let me tell you why: The manager mentioned in the story for the Fat = Fired move […]
I live in the Southern United States of America, also known as The Bible Belt. There are certain things I can count on here: mosquitoes, iced tea sweet enough to make my teeth throb, and a perpetual debate about Creationism versus Evolution. Being an educated woman with a natural fondness for math, science, […]
I have been many shapes and sizes throughout my life. Fat kid no-one wanted on their team. Superskinny teenager who smoked and starved herself thin. Pushing a size 14 (UK sizes) in my 20s. Boyfriend troubles returning me to skinnydom in time for my 30s. Soon followed by marriage (not to the boyfriend) then children […]
Skin wrinkles. Hair whitens. Butts droop. Aging is not a pretty picture, is it? And it’s even less pretty when you’re in a dressing room with all those mirrors that don’t hide anything. Rather, they emphasize all those parts of your body which you’d like to imagine looked differently. But those mirrors don’t lie. I […]
I have a witch mole. It is a birthmark on my cheek that sticks out like someone glued the tip of a skin-colored raisin to my face. When I was a little girl, it was just a dark, slightly raised “beauty mark” like Natalie Portman’s signature mole. But now that I’m 42 and […]
Dear Scale: It has come to my attention that you are feeling neglected and, quite possibly, suffering from depression related to a lack of purpose. Since I’m not speaking to you right now, I thought it best to address the situation with a letter. You know how to dish it out, so let’s see […]
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