by Pauline Campos and Margaret Elysia Garcia
The editors of Girl Body Pride wish you a very Happy New Year’s and a 2014 low on shame and high on pride. We decided to kick off the new year by sharing a joint post of resolutions to make our lives, the lives of our children, and everyone else we encounter just a little more positive and a lot less freaked out by societal standards.
Altogether now…I resolve to:
1) Ignore the noise. What other people say, think, do, or feel is their own business. Not everyone is going to like me, and that’s just life. But when it comes to what they say, think, or feel about me and my reflection doesn’t matter. I am the master of my reflection.
2) Smile at myself more often. When I see myself in random shiny surfaces, I will do my best to not pick apart the woman I see. Instead, I will smile and try every day to love who I am in the present moment.
3) Drop the word “diet” from my vocabulary. Unless I’m a hamster and I’m talking about what my owner feeds me because that’s an entirely different story.
4) Focus on my own definition of health. I will eat what I believe is good for my body and my soul. I will be as active as I can in order to become healthier and stronger.
5) Tell the scale to kiss my ass. Why? Because the number doesn’t matter. Not when it comes to how I feel about myself or defining my self-worth. That’s my job.
6) Walk the walk. My kids are watching. My today’s define their tomorrow’s. If I want them to grow up confident and self-assured, I need to show them I already am.
7) Embrace the bad hair days. And the yoga-pants days. And the I just need some fucking chocolate days. Because we are the sum of all of our parts and that means we take the good with the bad and roll with the punches. Tomorrow is another day. We’ll tackle that bitch when the sun rises.
8) Stand tall(er). Proud(er). We only fail when we stop trying. See #7.
9) Love myself just a little every day. See #2. Roll that one into #7 and roll with those punches. Because I’m worth it and I will keep saying that to myself until I believe it.
10) Wear red lipstick. Or a tiara at the grocery store. I will find my happy place and I will find a reason to celebrate me, each and every day.
I love Pauline’s list and embrace all of it. But I have a little bit of my own in regards to others…as in:
1) Stop the name calling. I hereby vow to not judge other women by their sexuality. I am taking back the word ‘whore’ for all of us. From now on I’m going to remember my own diverse sexuality when I feel compelled or those around me feel compelled to name call. I will teach my daughter to not judge anyone by their sex life, lack there of, or prowess.
2) Be Honest. Speaking of sexuality? Healthy sexuality begins at home. No running from it. I’m trying for honesty this year. I like this. I don’t like this. Etc.
3) Choose how I respond. We can’t always control our circumstances, but we can choose how we respond. The universe and genetics gave me an hour glass figure. I can fight the curves or I can run with them. I’m running. This year? I will take control of my response.
4) Eat only when I’m hungry. I vow to eat when I’m hungry regardless of time of day. I vow to not eat when I’m not hungry. This is literal food we’re talking here. Or not. Metaphorically what ever I’m hungry for, I’m going to do; if I’m not interested? I’m not going to feign interest; I’m just going to pass on by.
5) Get active & feel good. I’m going to only do exercise that makes me feel good and I’m going to get that good in once a day. That’s a hard one for writers. We do a lot of sitting on our ass and watching it grow.
6) Cultivate male allies. This sounds textbook but sometimes I forget that for every asshole male who hates women out there , there’s also a sweet, kind guy who makes me feel at ease. I need to spend less time worrying about the asshole haters and more time acknowledging and supporting the men who make an effort.
7) Not be silent. Silence is a form of agreement. I have lesbian mothers. My family has a right to exist. My family is not an opinion you can be against. We’re people. End of story. If you say something shitty about gays and lesbians and their children? I’m not going to keep silent and I don’t care if you think that’s rude or inappropriate.
8) Call out the bad stuff. I vow to call out sexism and racism and classism where ever I see it, feel it, know it. It’s not going to be in a loud shrill voice either. I’m going to be all calm, cool , and collected as I tell you why I see the world that way. If I hear you call a woman aggressive when she’s being assertive you are going to hear about it.
9) Remember that I am human. I vow not to try and be super mom. Super mom was made up by people who were not moms. I can do crafts with you, cook a kick ass meal, and work for money but I fully acknowledge I can’t do all those things at the same time.
10) Embrace the thighs of thunder. Yup. You heard it here first. I will no longer wear long shapeless mom skirts that make me look ten years older and 100% more religious. God forbid you see an inch of my thigh cellulite. You know what? While you’re at it, I’m not hiding my cleavage either.
Thanks for hearing us out on our resolutions. What are some of yours?
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