Breaking the Rules

She was just a picture on Facebook, one of those photos meant to provoke comments. She was a large woman wearing a neon miniskirt and low-cut top which could not completely contain her plentiful bosom. She was going through her day, talking on her phone, content with the world. The post said to describe her in one word, and there were already a few words under the photo. Words like “disgraceful” and “ugly” and “sad.”

I looked at her. I studied her.  I wrote my word.

Confident.

Why? Because she didn’t care what the world thought. All the necessary bits were covered and she was determined to rock that tiny outfit, size be damned. I admired her confidence, her self-esteem, her desire to wear whatever she wanted.

The rest of the comments were all negative, and one person even taunted me about what I had said. Obviously this woman could not be beautiful squeezed into an outfit like that, she deserved to be laughed at, according to the rest of the commenters, who were also women. Why did she deserve such vitriol? Because she broke the rules.

If you’ve ever been a socially unacceptable size, you know the rules. Don’t wear tight clothes. Don’t wear revealing clothes. Don’t wear anything that’s too “young” or shows your fat rolls. Good God, don’t wear a bikini. Don’t wear shorts, either. Just cover all that up, because no one wants to see that from you.

Had she been 20 years younger and weighed about a third of herself, that picture wouldn’t have been mocked. She would have still been objectified, of course, but that’s a different can of self-image worms for another day.  She was who she was, and she was proud and happy and didn’t care one freaking bit about comments on the Internet because she believed she was hot. I think she was hot. Not because of her appearance. Because confidence is sexy. Belief in yourself is the most appealing thing you can wear.

It took me a long time to see past the weight to the self-confidence in others. I’m still doing it for myself, which is why I admire women that the world mocks. I don’t have that courage to buck the rules society sets for us, but I admire those who do, from the nameless woman in that Facebook photo to the tremendously awesome Brittany of the Brittany, Herself blog, who made international headlines when her bikini post went viral.

Maybe one day my “give a crap” fuse will blow and I’ll be strutting my plus-size self in a string bikini. Or just be confident enough to stand naked in my living room by myself with mirrors nearby. Until that happens, I’ll cheer on those who do what I cannot.

You go, Big Miniskirted Woman. Go be awesome.

 

Photo credit: Flickr/BurgerBaroness