Victoria’s Keeping Another Secret

Dear Vicky,

Your new swimwear sounds great! It’s always been a dream of mine to maximize my boob potential, so this is what I’ve been waiting for.

With all your work in clothing design, I wonder if you have any engineers on staff? Do they help you come up with these ideas or just execute them from the MBA’s you have working on how to market your merchandise?

Here’s why I ask: this new swimwear called “The Miracle Bra Swimwear” says that I can wear a push-up on my bikini. You call it “push up swimwear” and promise maximum cleavage enhancement.

Now, when I go in the water I can foresee a problem. Since there is buoyancy in water and my boobs end up floating anyway, will the Miracle Bra Swimwear increase the likelihood that I’ll have boobs directly under my chin when I swim? Will they detach completely with the combination of water and Miracle Bra technology so that they swim next to me? Should I teach them the breaststroke if that happens, or is this instinctual?

Let me know soon. I’ll need to decide whether or not I keep my breasts close to my body.

Thanks so much!

Kelly
p.s. Do you also make Miracle Bra floaties for the boobs that swim on their own? Just wondering.

 

Kelly Wickham is a writer, educator, and speaker who’s writing has been featured on Yahoo! and the Huffington Post. She’s been a guest on NPR, speaks at blogging and education conferences, and pens Mocha Momma (where this post originally appeared) and Babble’s Mocha Momma Has Something to Say. Kelly also is the Social Media Director for Little Pickle Press and has a thing for writing manifestos that rally the crowd to rally themselves. Connect with Kelly at her About.me page, and on  and .