by Jenna Glatzer
If you’ve missed the hoopla, here’s the abridged version:
A 16-year-old girl got very drunk at a party. While she was unconscious, two boys at the party raped her, and more than a dozen party-goers watched, took pictures and videos, bribed each other to urinate on her, joked about it on Twitter, etc. The rapists were football players and the coach and town nearly let the whole thing slide, if not for this amazing blogger named Alexandria Goddard, who spent hours taking screenshots of the Twitter posts that provided evidence of what had happened and the bragging and laughing that happened after it. People were convinced she was dead and didn’t care. People said she deserved to be urinated on. People laughed about the fact that she was being raped.
The blogger received death threats and was sued by one of the boys who participated, because, you know… football.
Again, somehow the ability to run across a field carrying a ball somehow gives you a get-out-of-rape-free card in the eyes of many. They’ll freak out if you hurt dogs, but raping a young woman? Meh. She probably deserved it. FOOTBAAAAAALL!
Now, I tend to write off the sorts of people who excuse this behavior as simple wingnuts. People who are deeply stupid and lack any moral compass. What I don’t expect is for educated and well-spoken CNN reporters to back them up.
What two CNN reporters did was to spend their whole segment reporting about the trial verdict wringing their hands about these two poor boys whose lives may be ruined because they have to register as sex offenders. These poor boys, one of whom even cried real tears!
Gawker has one of the best responses to sum up CNN’s coverage (and includes the video so you can see the original report).
The Onion predicted just this scenario in 2011, when they made this video for Comedy Central:
And it’s easy to get down about the whole thing, because it’s further proof of rape culture. We live in a society that excuses rape– that trivializes it, that blames victims, that engages in slut-shaming. One common reaction to hearing that a woman was raped is, “She probably wanted it and then just regretted it and cried rape.” I even read that comment about this case– which willfully ignores the fact that she was unconscious, and therefore not in a position to “want” anything.
CNN chose to play the “poor, poor rapists” angle rather than pointing out that, for instance, the “apology” that one offered was not an actual apology. He said, “No picture should have been sent around, let alone taken.”
Wait, he thinks THAT’s the problem? Notice that what he does not say is, “I should not have raped her.” Just that someone else shouldn’t have taken a picture of it, thus helping him get convicted.
But all of that is leading to the positive, which is the same positive I noticed during the Penn State trial: People are upset about this.
My Facebook and Twitter feeds are blowing up with men and women alike who are furious with CNN for their coverage. There are multiple petitions on Change.org and other sites requesting that CNN issue an apology for their terrible coverage.
Thirty years ago, this probably wouldn’t even have made national news. Rape was much more taboo back then. People didn’t talk much about it because it was icky. Now people have opinions. Loud ones. They’re not afraid to say, “This is wrong.” People who’ve never been sexually assaulted themselves manage to care enough about this topic to speak out– to make phone calls, to write blog posts, send in letters to the editor, etc. And speaking on behalf of the far-too-many of us who HAVE survived sexual assaults, I thank you for this. It helps us to feel less alone and judged when we know there’s a community out there who is willing to step up and yell on our behalf.
There are many people who’ve been victimized who never tell anyone what happened because they are worried about being judged for it, as if they were “asking for it” based on what they were wearing, or who they went out with, or whatever. The fact that there’s such a large and vocal community now speaking out in favor of a girl who went to a party and got drunk is actually a beautiful thing to me, because it shows we’ve made real progress. It’s not okay to rape, no matter what.
We’re sending out the message to the media: We don’t feel sorry for rapists. We don’t care that they played football, or did reasonably well in school. These are not good people who made one teensy little mistake. There was a girl here who couldn’t speak up for herself, and we’re giving her a voice now.
We don’t care what she was wearing.
We don’t care what she was drinking.
We care that she was assaulted, abused, degraded, and left to die by people who all thought it was hilarious good fun.
These are not good people.
Edmund Burke said, “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.” Luckily, the good men and women are not doing “nothing” anymore.
We’re making strides against rape culture. Like any major social problem, it won’t be fixed overnight, but it’s important to speak out and push change forward a little at a time. Racism isn’t over in this country, but it’s come a long way. Victim-blaming needs to go through the same process. Name it, call it out into the light, examine it, and then extinguish it one person at a time until it would be absurd for a major news outlet to praise rapists again.
So thank you to everyone who’s signing those petitions and talking about this and expressing their sympathy for and solidarity with sexual assault survivors. Even when you don’t know who we are, we hear you, and it matters.
Jenna Glatzer is a writer, mother, and rape survivor. Find her at Hot Diggity and Jenna Glatzer.
I have been reading the coverage for the past few days, and it makes me sick. How on earth can anyone think this would be approved behavior – even if she had been running down the street in her birthday suit (which she hadn’t, from what I read). I have heard excuses à la, “Everyone was drunk, and drunk teens do stupid things.” You know what? I don’t care. If you scratch up a car when drunk, you get to pay for it. If you drive drunk and kill someone, you go to court. (In Germany it is even against the law to drink yourself into a stupor on purpose – not that anyone would sue you, as long as you don’t do anything stupid or harmful.) So why should the boys not be held responsible for their actions?
When reading news like these, I think it is a good thing I am not allowed to carry weapons.
Thank you for reading AND commenting. This is such an important case and a sad commentary on society as a whole. Teens do stupid things. yes. But blaming for victim and victimizing the attacker is like blaming a puppy for piddling inside the house and excusing the owner for not bothering to open the fucking door to let it outside. eventually, the puppy’s bladder is going to burst and to hell with the new carpets.
These boys should be held responsible. The media should stop making excuses for people with penises and stop blaming those of us with vaginas on the mere basis of which sexual organs we happen to possess. And every single man and teen who has an actual concept of what this all actually means to us as a society (and to the victim of this case in particular) should be highly offended and incredibly pissed off that they are automatically assumed to be incapable of controlling their actions when a drunk girl or woman walks by in a tight skirt. Last time I checked, a penis is not a divining rod and the brain does NOT stop working when the penis points to something that happens to have caught its attention.
And to hell with “these poor boys and their bright futures.” To hell with rape culture and teaching my daughter to not GET raped. Last time I checked, rape is a VERB and the one responsible for the ACTION should be the only one held accountable. That means my job is to teach my daughter to say NO (which she is really good at, by the way). After that, her job is done.
End.Of.Fucking.Story.