Resolve

January’s winding down; how are those resolutions coming along?

No, not the ones about losing weight or fitting into those skinny jeans.

The one about loving yourself. How’s that working for you?

I found the whole self-esteem gig a bit easier this New Year, because I noticed a difference in all those “drop the pounds” commercials. There seemed to be fewer “shaming” ads flaunting impossible people in bikinis and heels, and I didn’t see my rage trigger commercial, the one of thinner people tearing their “fat” pictures in half and saying “I’ll never be that person again!”  To me, that was the ultimate self-loathing display, because there may be less or more of you, but you’re still you.  I’ve been down that path, dieting dangerously, dropping 80 lbs, loving the way I looked and always wanting more.

I know what else I lost, too. My belief in myself, because once I started obsessing about what my bathroom scale said, I was never skinny enough. That’s a terrible place to live in your head. Hopes, dreams, goals, experience and love still make you shine.  Your health matters most, regardless of your body type, and it seems that lesson is finally getting through. Even Weight Watchers came out with the “OK, we realize you’re human and you’re hungry, dammit” plan, and NPR took notice of a study that not only are fewer women dieting at all, but more people think some extra weight is attractive. Of course, finding out that those of us with some padding live longer than the “thin is in” crowd may boost those numbers even higher.

What does it all mean? That Hollywood isn’t the boss of us after all. Even if Oprah isn’t around daily to remind us, “empowerment” is still a powerful word when it comes to self-image. Work on accepting, then loving, who you are right now and the world will catch up to you. If you want to make some sensible changes, fine. Just don’t do it for some bizarre ideal of beauty that’s losing steam as the years go by.

Yes, I’ve gained some of my weight back and I’m working it off safely and slowly this time, but that was never my resolution. I’ve learned that the problem isn’t with my butt, it’s with my brain. So if you’ve already tanked your 2013 resolutions, make a new one right now. It’s okay, we can break the rules for this one.

Appreciate yourself and give yourself permission to love you for who you are.

If we all do it together, imagine how awesome we will be by 2014.

 

Beth Bartlett is a freelance writer and humorist. Her work has appeared in such publications as Writer’s Digest, mental_floss, Country Extra, Meetings South and American Profile, and she’s a contributing writer at the humor site An Army of Ermas. She indulges her pseudo-psychic snarky side at Wisecrack Zodiac, and shows her nerdy colors at Pure Geek and Geek Girl Universe.