2013: The Year of the Girl

 

Something happened this morning. I can’t really explain it, but I had spent the morning reading books, working on a proposal, and doing my social media for Little Pickle Press, and then I decided to check in on Twitter. Nothing big, really, and that’s not normal for me this time of day but I’m still on vacation from school so it made sense to see what the heck you people talk about during working hours, you know? It seemed like a good idea.

Then, I did that thing. You know the one, where you click a link and follow it down the rabbit hole and end up in the heart of feminism? You know that one? That’s where I landed. I suppose I could claim that it happens all the time and that my own tendencies as a supporter of women is an easy place to find myself, but it made me think about being a woman and a mother and a woman in the workplace in a position dominated by men for centuries. Right now, however, the demographics in my own district mirror the country in that more women are administrators than when I was a young girl.

Young girl. That’s the word that got me. It twisted right into my soul, pulling out the guts of my heart and every experience of being a girl right along with it. And it was the stories of girls that I had been meditating on with the books I’ve been devouring the last 10 days. Every Christmas vacation I gather all the books that I’ve been meaning to read or finish and then I plow through them. Ginny, a woman who works at ONE.org sent a copy of The Queen of Katwe to all of us who went on the trip to Africa this past October. I’d also finished The Soloist, 13 Reasons Why, The Fault in Our Stars, and a few others.

But it was this landing page, at the bottom of the rabbit hole, that made me gasp for air. I landed there and I loved it and watched their videos and found the links to donate and kicked myself for not coming up with an idea this brilliant first or even having something like this here in my town.

And then I was on fire.

I retreated back to Twitter with my mind filled with the women and girls and how we were treated in 2012. My mind was filled with the rape and, doubtfully “peaceful” death of the girl in Delhi. With “legitimate rape” as a phrase in our vernacular and with rape apologists from this last election season. With the face of Malala Yousafzai, a girl who wanted an education and got a bullet. With the face and powerful voice of Mona Eltahawy after she was sexually assaulted. With the knowledge that this year, more than ever, I’ve read essays and blog posts with CAUTION: TRIGGER WARNING attached to them. We’ve gotten here, and it astounds me.

With Tina Fey, who said it all when she said:

I wish we could have an honest and respectful dialogue about these complicated issues, but it seems like we can’t right now. And if I have to listen to one more grey-faced man with a two-dollar haircut explain to me what rape is, I’m gonna lose my mind.

That’s when the small sparks turned into that fire.

That’s when I went ahead and blew hot breath on that fire, puffing and getting it going.

That’s when Girls Write Now became my mission for 2013. I don’t make many resolutions, but I set goals for myself. Some are personal and others are professional but this one is emotional for me. Girls have all these stories, they do, but they don’t always tell them. It made me think of my students, my girl writers, who have shared powerful stuff with me. I don’t know if they continue to tell their stories or if they even think they have them anymore. Emily is a former student of mine who wrote to tell me that she liked something I wrote this past weekend and I failed to ask her about her voice and what she has to say. Why didn’t I do that? Emily, I’m sorry. I know you have stories. I want to hear them.

I have stories, being a girl. I have them as a woman, too. But girls stories are powerful and raw and full of truth-telling. I have stories as a girl who had sex with a boy through manipulation on his part and mind games. I have stories as the girl who got pregnant a short time later and watched as that boy denied it and moved away to avoid being a parent. The girl who got pregnant again, whose self-confidence was shattered and let it happen. The girl who went to college anyway and worked her tail off to graduate while she put her daughter in school. The girl who got married and divorced and came out the other side as a woman. The woman who, with three children, went back to graduate school because that was her option if she wanted to make something of herself and who was told, upon that divorce, that he was suing me for support because he “helped earn that degree”. The woman who, after all those years of raising children that men left in my care, couldn’t believe it when men said things like that to her.

That’s the woman who emerged today and boy, was she pissed.

But also, inspired and dedicated and ready to take back 2013 and claim it for the girls. Who is with me?

 

Kelly Wickham is a writer, educator, and speaker who’s writing has been featured on Yahoo! and the Huffington Post. She’s been a guest on NPR, speaks at blogging and education conferences, and pens Mocha Momma (where this post originally appeared) and Babble’s Mocha Momma Has Something to Say. Kelly also is the Social Media Director for Little Pickle Press and has a thing for writing manifestos that rally the crowd to rally themselves. Connect with Kelly at her About.me page, and on  and .