“But you’re squishy.”
Those were the words my daughter said to me several years ago after an encounter with someone we don’t see too often. This person, who is probably a size 6 or 8, made a comment in front of my family about how fat she was.
So, I reasoned internally, what do my kids think about me? I’m a woman who is not a size 6 or 8, very noticeably, might I add. When we were away from the kids, I told this person that we don’t talk about our bodies that way around our house and I’d be so appreciative it if she didn’t do it around my kids. I said we talk about what our bodies can do, and how we are all different and beautiful. I said, “What will my kids think about my size if you say you are too fat?” She agreed to be more sensitive about discussions on body size around the kids and has ever since, thankfully. 
During the course of the discussion about size and shape my daughter, probably 5 at the time, said, “But you’re squishy.” I didn’t cringe. I agreed with her that I was and that my squishy body made snuggling extra good. I said we’re all different, like I always say. “See my arms? My thighs? They are different from a lot of people, but they hold you and chase after you to make you laugh! So I am happy with them!”
It’s second nature now to talk about our bodies positively in our house. I love that I can talk about mine that way even though I have to fake it sometimes. She needs to hear that I love all of me and that is especially important as she is hitting middle school and as her own body is changing. My now 11-year-old daughter leans up against me and we snuggle and hug and it doesn’t even register to her that I am squishy. I’m just me.
Julia Roberts is a skilled writer, speaker and tireless disability advocate. She can be found at TheOtherJuliaRoberts.com, writing at KidneysandEyes.com and managing SupportforSpecialNeeds.com.
You do give really good hugs, I agree. I like how you handled this situation with your friend, Julia! I had a similar situation with two of my sisters-in-law who were saying really ugly things about women on TV in front of my daughter and I did not handle it as gracefully as you did.
This is a wonderfull story…
altın
My son keeps telling me I’m fat and that he wishes my body looked differently. I don’t know where he is getting this from. His school is a big hug and I can’t imagine him hearing it there. His father would NEVER say anything like that to me. Besides making me feel like shit, I don’t know how he learned it.
My daughter totally calls me squishy too.
This is wonderful, thank you so much for your kindness regarding bodies. We try to teach our kiddos the same, but when they go to school our ideas sometimes get thrown aside.