Ams and Am Nots

 Let me tell you who I am not.

I am not:

*Perfect

*Able to spell anything correctly

*Interested in getting over my Tofu Phobia

*Friends with my scale

*In possession of a head of hair that actually moves when the wind does.

*An expert in Pubic Relations (Click on the link above for this one to make sense)

*Working out right now. And I’m fine with that.

Now for what I am:

*Honest.

*The Typo-queen (Exhibit A? My tweet stream)

*An expert in making the Post Mama Muffin Tops and Cellulite look gooood. And? I know how how to turn a hoodie into Assmoflauge by trying it around your waist and making it look like you did it to coordinate your outfit and not hide the circumference of your badonkatonk.

* Proud of where I am.

* And aware that I may not be in the same head space when I wake up tomorrow.

But do I want to be?

Yeah. I do.

Even when life kicks me in the softly padded ass, even when emotions sneak up and make bad things sound good, I am still trying. I am still wanting to better myself and provide my daughter with a healthy example. So I (almost always) eat right. I don’t bitch about my thighs or my muffin top (out loud).

I tell her she is healthy. I tell her she is strong.

The truth of the matter is that I have health issues that aren’t making anything easier. But that isn’t saying I want it any less. And while I am in limbo, I am figuring the best thing I can do is look in the mirror and love what I see because how hard will I try if I don’t deem myself worthy of my own love and efforts to honor my body? Mexi-fro, muffin top, fat ass, and all.

If I can show my baby girl I am happy where I am now while I work on getting where I want to be, then it’s all good. And if I never get there? I need to be able to smile and laugh and hug her close when she tells me that I am pretty and the best mama in the world.

Because it’s all about her, people. I’m just along for the ride.

 

 

Pauline Campos contributes to Funny Not Slutty, Owning Pink, and 30 Second Mom. She blogs three times a week at Aspiring Mama (or when she remember to take her Adderall) and is the founder of Girl Body Pride.