My Body is Especially Mine

I’ve had this body my entire life yet, until I was well into adulthood I didn’t feel, apparently, like it was completely mine. I felt confident when I was younger, even my curvy self, which I attribute to an athlete’s frame of mind that my body could do miraculous things, as I was a competitive swimmer.

I got my first tattoo at age 30 after my first full marathon. See what I mean? It certainly appeared like I knew it was my body. But I had a little known secret; I had always wanted to get my nose pierced. In my early twenties I wanted to get it done and settled for an upper ear/cartilage piercing because it was still unusual then, semi-accepted and could be easily hidden.

I was even in an industry that had a wider acceptance than the norm because it was a creative industry – advertising.  Still, though, I waited. Always waiting for the best time to have my nose pierced or never doing it because of what people would think, including my husband, who is more conservative than myself.

There isn’t one pivotal thing that happened that changed my mind about what people thought about me, but a series of events that are big and not so big. My kids were born with a life threatening condition that has made me focus on helping them live their best life, in whatever ways make them happy because the saying “you never know” really applies to our family in a very real way. I had a nearly 60-year-old friend of mine, who is a grandmother, finally get her nose pierced after also wanting it done for years. And I suppose one of the most important reasons is because I have become secure in who I am as a person so I quit apologizing. I am who I am.

A few years ago on a visit to my sister’s city, Nashville, I finally had it done. As soon as my piecer was finished, I looked in the mirror I regretted not doing it sooner. Then I stopped myself.

No longer do I live in regret.