Ten years ago, I walked down the aisle in the (discount) wedding gown of my dreams. At the end of that aisle was the man to whom I pledged my love and who, in return, promised to see me through sickness, health, starter houses, and chasing my dreams just as fervently as he would chase his own. There’s also the fifty pound weight gain when my thyroid decided to stop working. And the time I lost most of my hair and broke out in hives all over my body. And then the time that it happened again and the doctors told me I was allergic to most of what I was eating.
Oh, and the morning breath and the bed head and the PMS and the crazy family he inherited when he married me. All of that was a bonus.
And ya know what? I’m pretty certain that the size of the wedding dress I wore a decade ago mattered about as much to him then as it does now. I can tell you, though. I wore a size 16 and that was because my ginourmous triple G breasts hadn’t been reduced yet. With alterations, my gown was taken in to fit the rest of my size 12 body, and I felt beautiful. Sure, I exercised and counted calories and exercised some more because I wanted to look my best on my wedding day, and I can tell you exactly what I weighed when I became a Mrs., but a lot has changed in ten years. Namely, the pressure on the bride to starve herself stupid and the fact that crash dieting is now an accepted and expected part of the wedding planning industry.
This is Where I Call Bullshit
GBP contributing writer and Owning Pink founder Lissa Rankin knows that the subject of body image is one that is near and dear to my heart. I’m a recovered bulimic and still occasional closet-binge-queen who is trying to raise a daughter in a society that has turned our world into a giant elementary school playground. I am very passionate when discussing subjects like shaming our children into losing weight, why Jessica Simpson let me (and every other woman who has ever given birth) down, and why I’ve broken up with my scale. So when I saw Lissa’s email pointing to a story about brides-to-be resorting to feeding tubes for rapid weight loss before their big days, my first reaction was to look up into the heavens and wonder when the insanity will end. It’s called the K-E diet and promises up to 20 pounds of weight loss in 10 days. Dieters must have a feeding tube inserted into their noses that runs down to their stomachs through which they are fed a steady and slow protein drip of fat mixed with water. Zero carbohydrates, 800 calories a day, and guaranteed body fat burned are all claims used by prescribing doctors.
Dieters are not hospitalized and instead carry their food solution with them in a bag for the ten days they are following the plan. Side effects are reportedly bad breath and constipation. And having to explain to your friends that you aren’t, you now, dying. I’m wondering why no one mentioned Continued Dependence on Quick Fixes and Refusal to Do The Obvious and JUST BUY A DRESS THAT FITS YOU TO BEGIN WITH?
All Dressed in… the Pressure of Perfection
I’m not stupid. I know that this single column won’t change the world and that the next time I go to get a gallon of milk, I’m going to be just as pissed off as I was last time while checking out because all of the magazines are calling me fat. I’m also perfectly aware that weddings are about two things: the happy couple… and what the bride looked like in her dress. I don’t fault any woman for doing everything she can… within reason… to look and feel her absolute best on her wedding day. I do, however, think it’s time for $1,500 extreme diet plans like the K-E diet not to be a factor in the wedding planning budget and for brides to feel free to focus less on their waistlines and instead on why he loves you.
Just the way you are.
What do you think? Are brides-to-be under too much pressure to be perfect?
Pauline Campos contributes to Funny Not Slutty, An Army of Ermas, Owning Pink, and 30 Second Mom. She blogs three times a week at Aspiring Mama and is the founder of Girl Body Pride. This post originally appeared on Owning Pink.
I’m not saying that the *brides* are disgusting, I’m just saying that for the sake of vanity, having a nasal drip tube is appalling.
There are extreme diets and exercises galore to partake of, but I think it best to just have a healthy workout regimen and sensible eating habits in the __ months before your big day. Don’t you want it to be YOU in those $1,000 photographs and not someone your body can’t ever hope to be?
But isn’t that usually a Bridezilla who does that anyway? I’m not sure they operate on a normal plane of existence. But I wish them well anyway–as I do all women. It’s just a shame that they could have achieved weightloss sustainably and healthily through structured diet and exercise [not liquid lipid nasal tube], but perhaps one day they’ll see the folly of their ways and lead by better example.
I thank you for reading and commenting. I also wish to point out that I think it’s not up to us to pass judgement on the brides. I understand you don’t mean to do so and I hope you understand I only mean to show that if it weren’t for societal pressure, these stupid diets wouldn’t exist anyway.